Bropacalypse Now!

A BroLoaF retrospect

broloaf • Wednesday, January 20, 2010 • 5:04 PM

Back in late 2007, local punk geezer, and Father Figure, Tom Reardon, came to us with an interesting show challenge; can several randomly picked local musicians organize a punk band, write a 30 minuteset's worth of songs, and work together with musicians you hardly know, all within 2 months? The answer to this challenge would be played at the Hollywood Alley on AZPunk's Thrash of the Titans show. 24 musicians from local punk bands all around the Metro-Phoenix area took two months to organize six separate punk bands to compete for the title of AZPunk Titan and a spot on the AZPunk.com Volume 6 album. The battle was bloody and long, but as the night drew to a close, there was no doubt in neither the crowd, nor the judges that the undisputed AZPunk Titan was the frat-boy brohamness of BroLoaF.

But that was two years, 4,287 kilos, 12,355 beer bongs and 38,826 bitches banged on toilet stalls ago. There may or may not have even been a Space Docking or two. We're not sure, the film is still being analyzed. Point is, it's been a long road for BroLoaF. Frontman, Ben Brah, gives AZPunk and insight to what the fuck they've been doing since the dust settled from the epic battle.

A couple years back, the bros got together. One show, one night, one goal. So I had a shitty day at work followed by dealing with some crazy bish. Then I check the voicemail on my blackberry, and it's drunk Johnny Deuces exclaiming, "We're in a band motherfucker! We are BroLoaf!" and I thought to myself, "What the fuck is a BroLoaf?"

First time the crew met up, it was at Yo Kevin Bro's warehouse in the Industrial part of South Scottsdale. Buffy had to drive up from Tucson, and that was no bullshit. Before we even wrote any songs, we all agreed to win this fucking thing. Knowing who and what we were up against, we know it was going to be a challenge. But in the end, the only challenge was getting a drink at the crowded bar. Beating these, what you would call "bands", was as easy as getting an ASU freshman to take her panties off. People got pissed, jealous, angry, and some even cried. The BroLoaf crew even brought their own trophy, cause we knew the cheap bastards at AZPunk would have no actual trophy, and they also had their precious servers and websites to pay for... not too mention making it our own CD Release show, releasing Shits Tight... a real CD. Not some crappy homemade CDR bullshit that you made on your moms computer.

After that, we had several requests to play shows around town but flat out refused. Until TK asked us to play his birthday party that wasn't even really his birthday. Not knowing it wasn't his birthday, we made it a CD Release show for the Weakend Warrior EP. Then we got really drunk, and I think he was turning 54. Junior, from Arizona Joe and the Methadone Three, jumped from that sinking ship to roll with the bromega dudes.

This other band, Basket Knife, had to cancel a show, so the Bro's filled in and played with Mustard Plug for a bunch of money that was spent on strippers, blow and 2 kegs of Bud Light. Yo Kevin Bro got stranded in Tijuana, and we aren't really sure which town in Arizona Buffy was currently residing. His Name is Steve was erroneously accused and jailed by the California Highway Patrol. Irr Roy Sponsible (The Disasters, Morninglory) gave up college and a steady job only to pick up his 4-string and join BroLoaF.

Once His Name is Steve was release from the Los Angeles County Jail, he returned home and joined back up with the band. Searching for a new guitar player, we hooked up with Tod tha Bodd (Warzone, North Side Kings, Vision) and played a show with Valient Thorr for Ben Brah's Bday Bash. This was the definitive line-up now finally in place:

Johnny Deuces

Former child star who had a one time guest appearance on the hit TV show, ALF, JD lost it all to online porn addiction, only to make a huge comeback all by the time he was 13. Now shredding without regard for personal safety in BroLoaf, Johnny Deuces enjoys guyliner, hairspray, and nailin young hotties.

SoCal Steve aka His Name is Steve

3 time World surf champ and 2 time downhill jam contest winner, SoCal Steve had been kicked out of every reformatory school and military academy across the greater southwest region. After doing some time at San Quentin for felony misuse of a law enforcement vehicle, he joined up playing the drums with the rest of the bros. He is also the owner of a winery in the hills of Hemet, CA.

JR aka Drughead Jones

Born on the beach in Jamaica, this rasta currently owns, operates, films and stars in his own line of adult films, Juggs n Drugs featuring barely legal girls and lots of cocaine. After winning the Masters several times he quietly retired from the world of professional golf, and as luck would have it ran into the rest of the Bros at a keg party. After several nights of sin in Vegas, JR joined the band with a mic in his hand to spread the loaf across the land.

Roi Boy aka Irr Roy Sponsible

Former bass player for Asian Persuasion and The Mexican Connection, this latin Grammy award winning superstar has wowed the crowds from Tokyo to Tijuana banging sluts and pounding brews along the way. After a frat party with the Alpha Bromega dudes, Roi was forced into captivity as the new bass player for BroLoaf.

Todd the Bodd

Ex New York arm wrestling champion who was banned in Brooklyn for "excessive use of force with a fist", "attempted manslaughter" and who was later acquitted for accusations of steroid use. After a storied career as a personal bodyguard for John Madden, he picked up his guitar and joined up with the dudes.

Ben Brah

After winning the highly coveted "roid rage in the cage" heavyweight championship, BB was arrested for a number of serious charges including "possession of a dangerous drug with intent to overdose, attempted date rape, excessive use of alcoholic beverages, stalking, and driving without a license, insurance, or pants". Now he spends his time getting pussy, partying, and singing sweet jams about shit.

This lineup is currently recording a new full length album Champions on Parade at Villain Recording with Byron Filson, and it is due out spring/summer 2010. Our next show is Feb. 13th Valentines day Pajama Jam!

• July
• 30
• 31
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5

• Calendar
• Add Show [+]